Mary Poppins May Be Practically Perfect... But I Am FullyPerfect

I am the epitome of "bald is beautiful"... In fact they should just rephrase it to "Bald is Dave and Dave is downright perfect so by transference bald is perfect." That may not fit on a bumper sticker or baseball cap, so you are just going to have to memorize it and make it become part of your everyday life.

When I want to slum with the common rabble I wear something that gives me the look of hair, which makes me not... perfect. Still adorable... but not perfect.

Makes me look a little like Guy Fieri and I think we can ALL agree he is not perfection!

You are welcome!

-Dave

Psst! It's In The Genes...

But Dave, I know you ask yourself every day, have you always been destined to put on hats and be all around awesome? 

The answer is simple. No. 

It has taken years of hard work. Honing my skills at the haberdasher. Trying on hat after hat. Hours in front of the mirror practicing what Tyra Banks has taught. Smiling with my eyes, remembering my lines. It has been hard work becoming this freaking perfect.

HAHAHAHA! Oh man! I can't keep lying to you...

I was born this amazing!

It's in the genes... I come from a long line of hotties...

 

 

 

So yeah... I got it like that...

Here is me in a hat...

As always... You are welcome...

-Dave

You Can't Be Goth and Have Looks Like This...

In honor of the upcoming Bat Day at Disneyland. Basically, it is the day when everyone who shops at Hot Topic puts on all their "goth" clothes and heads to Disneyland... Jack Skellington is really popular that day. It's obvious what I can do with this hat... First, I instantly take it from lame to cool. Second, I take my normal great looks and bump them up to shear perfection... I mean... just look... can't tear your eyes off can you? 

I call this look... I Know What You Did Last Summer...

It's okay to be jealous...

-Dave

There's a Snake in My Boot... Wait, I Mean My Boots Are Made of Snake

Not a lot of commentary from me on this one...  Just soak it in... Let is marinate...  BASK IN MY AWESOMENESS! A lot of people say, "You totally over use the word awesome." You know who says stuff like that? People with a lack of awesome in their lives...  That's why I am here...  You're welcome...

More Than Meets The Eye... The Optimus Prime of Hats.... Okay, Probably the Megatron of Hats.

Kentucky Derby here I come! My wife got this sun hat last summer. It is pretty versatile if you ask me! If you are out in the sun it protects your head in a swath of Beetlejuicey stripes, but lets's say you go to a dude ranch, what are you going to do! Transform that hat into an almost perfect cowboy hat! Well, almost perfect on you, but absolute perfection on me.

The picture is a little dark because the radiance that comes off me is harmful to cameras...

Boom! Cowboy hat! What you can't tell by this still photo is that I was roping a calf, riding a bull and my spurs were jingle jangle jingling at the same time...

New post tomorrow!

-Dave

ManBearKing!

And sometimes the hat takes over. I love this hat. I have been eyeing it for months and finally I decided I had to get it. Obviously, I got a TON of compliments on it. I mean, look at it... Nay, look at ME in it! I am glorious! Man-Bear-King... half man, half bear, half king!

I am going to give you a two'fer because I love you guys so much... 

Make it a three'fer because this hat is almost as amazing as I am... You are most welcome!

-Dave... Please refer to me as Bear-majesty!

Don't Hate Me Because I Am Beautiful... Hate Me Because I Am The Best.

A lot of people say to me,  Dave, how can one man have so many different looks...  You ever consider modeling? Obviously, yes...  But I want to give those poor schlubs like Tyson Beckford a shot.

Don't Hate The Hat... Hate The Game

You know, it is actually really hard to look this awesome with snow man glasses... but if someone says "put this on" chances are I will... I am a player! Well, an actual player would have said, "I'm a playa".  What I meant was that I am game for anything... well, most things... Uno or Sorry... or trying on hats... and apparently snowman glasses. You can't really tell in this picture, but I am totally "smiling with my eyes."

Manchild out! Nope, Seacrest used that already. How about Manchild Nap Time!

Smarter Than Your Average Bear... Or At Least Your Average Goldfish.

Guess what I just realized? I have a big head! Are you shocked? I am pretty sure I just heard the collective gasp at that earth shattering news. I can only assume that it's so large because of all the extra brain power contained within it. I am SO smart!

Who has a guess as to where this hat was tried on? No seriously, who has a guess, because I don't remember(so much for all that extra brain power)... I think this picture really shows just how smart I look.

Welcome... I Am Fragile, Please Don't Laugh...

I am Manchild. I am 38, I play videogames, I love Lego's, I love Disney, I still listen to ska, and I will usually put anything on my head and have my picture taken. It is my superpower...

For years these pictures have sat, locked in a vault away from the public's eye, but with today's technology and my complete lack of shame I have decided to share them with you.

Welcome to Manchild... In Hats...

One of my least favorite pictures of me... EVER!

I was steampunk before steampunk was steampunk... Can you guess where this classic was taken?

New picture up tomorrow!

-Dave

P.S. Also, go ahead and laugh... I am not fragile

P.S.S. This is for Karen, Kent, Dan, Ruby, Ashley, Ron, Patrick, Amy, Maria, Jackie, Paul and most of all my beautiful wife, instigator and photographer, Katie